raspberries and oatmeal

Dear Girls,
You two are so very sweet most mornings, it almost breaks my heart! This morning when it was already 7:30 and I had to go into your room and turn on the light to wake Avery up so she didn't miss the bus, instead of being bleary-eyed and crabby like anyone else would be when so rudely-awoken, you both bounced out of bed smiling and sweet! There were lots of hugs and hand-squeezes and "I had a great nap!"'s and "I love you, mom!"'s and I loved every short second of it. With your halos of curly hair and sleepy eyes you two are the world's most beautiful angels. We had oatmeal and raspberries and milk for breakfast together and you both giggled as you ate.
I love watching your relationship develop! More every day you two play together- especially house. You each take turns being Mom and Baby- it's the sweetest thing ever! Especially to a pregnant mama who looks on as the world's best big sisters practice helping and caring for baby.
I guess what I'm trying to say is, thank you for making my day. And it's only 8am.

Mom

judgment day

Dear Girls, 

Someday you are going to realize that I don't know what I am doing. And my prayer every day is this: Please don't let them hate me. Please let them know that I loved them, I worried about them, I prayed for them every step of the way. 

We are moving to Portland, Oregon in less than two weeks, and we haven't told you yet. We don't want you to worry (you are such a worrier, little Avery!). But you are starting to ask why we are packing up our belongings. I will tell you soon. 

I just want you to know that, no matter what, it's going to be okay. I am still struggling to tell myself that, but you are braver than I am by a long-shot.

It's going to be okay. 

Right?

Love, 

Mama

overprotective 101

Dear Avery, 

I have a confession to make, and it probably won't surprise you. You see, you start kindergarten in ten days. And I am freaking out. But let's get one thing clear, okay? It's not because I don't think you're smart enough/strong enough/talented enough/kind enough/whatever enough to knock the socks off of every single person down in kindergarten. That's not it at all. 

Here is my problem: kids are mean. Seriously, they are. And I know that you will make mistakes and I'm going to be here for you every step of the way. And, yes, "being there for you" does include letting you have it (it=consequences) so you can learn and grow from your mistakes.

But I'm not okay with someone messing with you or hurting you. In fact, I am so afraid for you to go to school because I am pretty sure that I will hunt down and cut any kid who makes you feel like  less than you are. 

...okay, cut might be a strong word. I would probably only just make some elaborate plan to scare them so badly that years of therapy will only begin to scratch the surface of the damage that I had done. Probably. 

Love, 

Mom

PS Do you think that, if your kindergarten teacher read this, I would be asked to abstain from helping at the class Halloween party? 

For her sake, I hope not.