Being a mother is so very rewarding! Except when it's not.
You are really struggling with kindergarten right now, and I am frustrated. You are the smartest, sharpest kid that I know. You ask the most imaginative questions, you are curious about everything, and you understand more, frankly, than I often think you should at this age! But you really dislike kindergarten. Your favorite part of school is the bus ride home so you can play! I don't mind that you like being home, and no one can blame you for liking playtime with Drew, our neighbor, more than writing lessons.
I do, however, have a problem when your teacher calls me and throws around ideas like, "maybe you should take her to the pediatrician to address attention deficit issues". And I cry. All day.
Upon further reflection (and many more tears) I can't imagine that you actually have attention issues. Here is what I can imagine- I can imagine a mom that stressed and struggled over the idea of sending you to kindergarten this year, as one of the youngest students in your class. Had you been born on time, instead of three months premature, the school district wouldn't even have allowed me to register you for kindergarten this year. But then, I told myself, I didn't want you to have to wait because I know how smart you are. Your kindergarten teacher told me at our first conference that you had passed 90% of the end-of-year requirements for kindergarten at the beginning of the school year. You know your stuff! But you don't like sitting still. You are in your own world. You hum to yourself. You get distracted just by the circus that I imagine runs three shows daily in your head. And your teacher is not pleased.
You might have to repeat kindergarten.
I hate hate hate hate even thinking that. But at the same time, one of the reasons I really wanted to keep you from attending school this year, as opposed to next, was that I would rather you be the oldest kid in your class than the youngest. I want you to be confident. I promised myself when I did finally decide to send you to school this year that I wouldn't be afraid to let you repeat kindergarten.
But I am.
I sound so wishy-washy, but I just thought I would give you this little slice of life inside of a mother's head. I love you and your sister more than anything. Would do anything for you.
Which just may have to include making your time at home more difficult with extra homework and practice sitting still and staring at walls and such.
I hope it helps.
Love,
Mom
