judgment day

Dear Girls, 

Someday you are going to realize that I don't know what I am doing. And my prayer every day is this: Please don't let them hate me. Please let them know that I loved them, I worried about them, I prayed for them every step of the way. 

We are moving to Portland, Oregon in less than two weeks, and we haven't told you yet. We don't want you to worry (you are such a worrier, little Avery!). But you are starting to ask why we are packing up our belongings. I will tell you soon. 

I just want you to know that, no matter what, it's going to be okay. I am still struggling to tell myself that, but you are braver than I am by a long-shot.

It's going to be okay. 

Right?

Love, 

Mama

overprotective 101

Dear Avery, 

I have a confession to make, and it probably won't surprise you. You see, you start kindergarten in ten days. And I am freaking out. But let's get one thing clear, okay? It's not because I don't think you're smart enough/strong enough/talented enough/kind enough/whatever enough to knock the socks off of every single person down in kindergarten. That's not it at all. 

Here is my problem: kids are mean. Seriously, they are. And I know that you will make mistakes and I'm going to be here for you every step of the way. And, yes, "being there for you" does include letting you have it (it=consequences) so you can learn and grow from your mistakes.

But I'm not okay with someone messing with you or hurting you. In fact, I am so afraid for you to go to school because I am pretty sure that I will hunt down and cut any kid who makes you feel like  less than you are. 

...okay, cut might be a strong word. I would probably only just make some elaborate plan to scare them so badly that years of therapy will only begin to scratch the surface of the damage that I had done. Probably. 

Love, 

Mom

PS Do you think that, if your kindergarten teacher read this, I would be asked to abstain from helping at the class Halloween party? 

For her sake, I hope not.

shove off

Dear Girls,

Last week your cousin, Milo, was over to play. You had a great time playing dress up and coloring. When I heard Avery say, "Hey, Milo! Watch this!!" I looked up with curiosity to see what she would proudly show her cousin. When I saw her place both hands on Carter's chest and shove, I was remarkably less enthusiastic.
Be. Nice.

Love,
Mom

and i'll cry if i want to

Girls, I love you. You had great birthday parties and I already can't wait to see what we come up with next year. All I know is that they will be as special as you are to me.

7.4.11

Carter,
I love it when you smile at me. You are the most mischievous person on the planet. And you are only ONE!! I hope you keep your sneaky smile and your spunky attitude. I can't get enough of you!

Love,
Mom